So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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