An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
