Buhtt sex?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
