it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
