And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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