it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
