you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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