did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
