what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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