is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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