Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
