Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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