You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize