Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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