and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
