She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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