absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
