Dual....:-)
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
