and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
