hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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