If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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