apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
