It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
