You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize