how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
