the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
