I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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