This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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