Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize