Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
