The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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