yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Houston, we have a squirter
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So much Jack, so little girl.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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