we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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