why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
