so that wasnt chicken after all
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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