Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
