Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
