I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
