I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
