Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
there is puke in my bra ... again
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
