It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
