I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize