Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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