Porn is love you can see.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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