it was like eating out sand paper
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wear drunk well.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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