you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
