I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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