I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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