Sry I called you an 8
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think my vagina is haunted
In America we eat man semen.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
