Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.

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(760): View more from California

Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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(905): View more from Ontario

So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?

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(323): View more from California

She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."

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(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

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