why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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