another moral hangover. fuck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
