youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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