Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
