It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize