look no pants
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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