Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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