There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're facebook friends in real life
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
