I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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