I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am mentally ready for anal.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
