well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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