I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
