But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I deserve this hangover.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
