marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
