Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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