I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
